Happy New Year....and…..Welcome Home?
-A
new client to me on Friday September 14th, 2012
Coming to New York
began as a dream of adventure early in 2011, and ended as a jump of
necessity with Steve leaving before all of us were ready nearly a year ago. One
full circle later and we’re here, trying to make this place our home. Some of
us are adjusting better than others. I, for one, benefit greatly from getting
out of the city for a breather once in a while and recently we got to take a
four day weekend upstate because of a school holiday, or as one of my clients
announced to me, “Happy New Year!”.
Not wanting to appear clueless, I answered him, “Happy New
Year!”, as if I knew exactly what he was talking about (in sales you always play
along….), then quickly checked the calendar to make sure I hadn’t slept through
a few months by accident. Of course I’m kidding, because at this point I knew
it had to have something to do with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish holiday which
much of the East Coast celebrated last week by, among other things, shutting
down school for a few days.
In Colorado we have plenty of school holidays, although mostly
the old standards such as Presidents Day, Columbus Day, Martin Luther King Day
(a fairly new addition) and in Denver Cesar Chavez Day. Needless to say, there
are no Jewish holidays, so Rosh Hashanah was a new one for us. We found out
that this “Head of the Year,” (literal translation) or the first day of the
Jewish calendar, celebrates the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve,
the relationship between God and humanity, and repentance for man’s first sin.
Rosh Hashanah is followed shortly by Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, with
prayer for a year of life, health, and prosperity. Considering the year we’ve
just had, this is something I could get behind. I was all about getting out of
dodge and celebrating life, health and prosperity upstate for a few days.
Each time we get out of the city all of us come away feeling
rejuvenated and refreshed. The kids get to run around in open nature alongside such Adirondack beauties as Lake Champlain and Lake George . The adults get to
run in wide open spaces and pound on things with tools in a big rambling house
my brother-in-law generously shares with us. We get to know our dog again, and
we play jokes on the locals.
By playing jokes on the locals I mean attempting to mingle
locally without frightening people or causing a scene. Somewhere between
leaving Colorado
and arriving in NYC our family has, let us say, come-into-our-own, which makes
us uniquely country-folk turned city-folk. We still have the open and friendly
abandon that is distinctly a mid-west character trait, yet now we also have the
devil-may-care attitude of “this is who we are, like it or not!” We’re consistently
the loudest and most city-dressed folk at the local mall, and the friendliest
and odd-looking people at any retail establishment in the city. We exist
distinctly somewhere in between.
When people upstate discover we live in NYC (something I try
hard not to point out), it’s pretty much a conversation stopper. Suddenly we
are some sort of aliens. People stop just short of asking, “Why would you live
there?” For instance, take in point, during a recent evening out with my sister-in-law in the local
village, Keeseville, (population 1,815) nestled next to the breathtaking Ausable Chasm.
When folks here heard I was from the city all six people in the establishment turned silent. She and I tried to continue
a normal conversation without feeling like freaks on display and eventually the
locals started coming by to observe and possibly over hear anything of interest
from these strangers that ‘obviously look like they aren’t from here.’
The questions I got the most include, “Aren’t you afraid to
live there?”, “How do you do it?”, “What’s the hardest part?”, “Are the people there
mean?” or “Isn’t it dangerous?” The
funniest question that night being, “Does your neck get tired from looking up
all the time?” or “Aren’t the tall buildings scary?” and lastly “Will you give
me a tour if I come down to visit? I’m too scared to do it myself.” I had to be humble and admit to
these people that yes, “This city kicks my ass every day and twice on Tuesdays.”
After this conversation I stopped to ask myself,
‘Am I afraid?’ or more accurately, ‘Why is it I am not afraid?…Should I be?’ To be
honest, when I first arrived in the city I was very afraid. Although I had been here many times in my previous life, conquering the city with children
proved to be down right terrifying. Getting to the grocery store without
getting lost seemed impossible (Which way is uptown?) Walking the kids blocks
to school on time and safely put me in a shear panic. Driving around the city
to find a parking spot without getting killed was triumphant.
The worst possible terror was unlocking the front door to
our building. For the life of me, I could not get the key to work and after 10
or 15 tries I would break out in a cold sweat as my children looked on saying,
“Mom, can’t you just buzz us up? Do you need to call Daddy? Let’s just go to
the coffee shop!” Meanwhile everyone around us was very fearful that Gavin,
following 15 feet behind on the sidewalk, would get lost in the city. As it
turns out he hasn’t gotten lost in the city……but he did get lost last weekend in
the suburban mall in upstate Plattsburgh ,
NY
The philosophy in this family has become the best way to
address a fear is to conquer it. As afraid as I may be, I take a cue from my
kids every minute of the day. They look to me and check if I’m afraid, and I
have to show my game face. The kids have started a new school year, which comes
with new teachers and new friends. For Gavin it’s the first time in a
multi-cultural city school with a lot of ‘big kids.’ There were brief moments
of suspicion, but I never sensed fear in either one of my kids. Already in the third
grade, Dylan is the mentor for her little brother. As of week one, Gavin knows
all the words to the songs they sing at school Community Meeting.
“Taxi, taxi…….I think
I’ve lost my tractor! And normally that’s bad!
But good thing I’m a New York City kid, ‘cause
I can hail a cab!”
-David Weinstone for the Aardvarks
To them, the East Village is One
Big Small
Town
According to what I read about Rosh Hashanah, the Kabbalists believe it signifies the “Renewal of the divine desire of the world.” Perhaps
it’s the ability to recharge upstate and in turn openly admit our fear that
renews our desire to return to the crazy world that is this city. Our gift to
leave and return reminds us how lucky we are to live in one of the greatest, if
not the greatest, cities of the world.
It’s hard to believe that there are people who live in the state of New York who have never
ventured to this city, have never conquered their fear to come see.
We may be brave enough to live here, but I'll admit that as it stands now we still don’t know where
home is. We’ve left Colorado
behind, for awhile. We don’t completely fit in here in the city. We still
stumble and trip, we still make stupid mistakes that only a tourist would make.
And yet we don’t fit in upstate either. In just a few months it’s like this
place has changed us in some silent invisible way. So we’ll continue trying to make our
new home, wherever that may be in the moment. I welcome the New Year in our New City , and
I’ll still try to conquer this place every day. Meanwhile my record this week is
five seconds to open the front door…………
"Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home......."
-Phillip Phillips
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